Tuesday, April 29, 2008

American Idol: Top 5

Basically, OMFG! What a trainwreck of a night. From the performances, the staging of the show to PAULA's FUCK UP, this was one helluva night. And on effing Neil Diamond week. Who knew?

Jason Castro "Forever in Blue Jeans" and "September Morn"
Jason would have been leaving tonight (one okay performance and then a snoozer), but Paula had to go and reveal the fucking script. Wow. I really hope the media picks up on it and that Idol will get hit big time. I love/hate the show, but everyone and their mother knows that they do things to get the results they want. They know exactly how much to bad mouth and when to play it safe with the comments.

David Cook "I'm Alive" and "All I Really Need is You"
I liked the second one more than the first, but his placement is interesting. Outside of Jordin last year (and that was due to having 2 top 6 weeks because of the double-elimination of Phil and Chris), every single contestant who sings second on top 5 night goes home. Now the producers probably don't realize this, so that's why they put him here. He's very safe and this trend will be stopped again.

Brooke White "I'm a Believer" and "I Am...I Said"
I thought Brooke was actually quite good tonight. Her first showed the nice hippie quality that she (and Castro) possess (in the vein of "Happy Together") while the second was a very classy showcase of her range. Very good work Brooke. Still one of my faves, a vast improvement from the last few weeks, but you're still kinda batshitcrazy.

David Archuleta "Sweet Caroline" and "America"
Oh lo, what a predictable mess. "America" was clearly pandering for votes (hey David, your name isn't KKKristy Lee Cook) and "Sweet Caroline" was not good. Like his worst ever I think. Phew.

Syesha Mercado "Hello Again" and "Thank the Lord for the Night Time"
So, Syesha really wants to win this shit (solid performances, not as great as last week though), but it might be too little too late. I think Simon's comments were either dumb, because the very few support that she does have will start calling/texting in, or genius, because Simon knew that and he wanted to clober either Jason, Brooke or Archie.

1. David Cook #2
2. Brooke White #2
3. Syesha Mercado #2
4. Jason Castro #1
5. Syesha Mercado #1
6. Brooke White #1
7. David Cook #1
8. Jason Castro #2
9. David Archuleta #2
10. David Archuleta #1

Bottom Three Predictions:
Since we are now down to five, I'm guessing they will no longer be doing bottom 3 and just bottom 2 (see last week).

Bottom Two:
Jason Castro vs David Archuleta. Oh yes. They need to save The Chosen One and they need to drum up support since his star is losing it's luster. Yes, they may want Cook to win, but they still want to pimp "The Battle of the Davids" in the finale. This will be a wake-up call to many of the lazy fans. Technically speaking, I think the comments the judges made will save Brooke and Syesha, rather than hurt them. The only thing that gives me hope that Jason is not going home is that the media will REALLY want blood for the brouhaha over Paula's comments and how the show is rigged, if that happens. Text votes seem to have saved Syesha just barely in the past (and I'm sure Jason too), so maybe it is Brooke's time to go (although she has the support of VoteForTheWorst). Argh. I'm so not confident with who to predict here. Maybe Archie will go? The only 100% safe one is Cook...but then again, he did go second on top 5 night. Well, I've been wrong the past few weeks, so I'll say the next to leave is...

Goodbye to...
Jason Castro.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

American Idol: Top 6

I do not like Andrew Lloyd Webber or his brand of theatre. So this was already not going to be a great night for me. Let's see what happens.

Syesha Mercado "One Rock & Roll Too Many" from Starlight Express
Never heard of this song and I had to look up where it was from, but oh lo, did Syesha bring it tonight. Like Simon said, I definitely felt the Michelle Pfeiffer in The Fabulous Baker Boys vibe. This was an extremely satisfying, sexy and memorable performance. Great way to start the show and a great performance.

Jason Castro "Memory" from Cats
In the Webber canon, this is what we classify as "THE Song" (™). It's that ONE song that almost anyone can identify as a song that can make you sound jaw-droppingly amazing or like hot buttered ass. If you've seen Dreamgirls, it's "And I'm Telling You," while "I Will Always Love You" is one in the music industry that everyone knows. Most of these songs are performed by female singers, so to watch Jason tackle it was...odd. He was really committed to the song and it showed. It was his weakest performance in a while and it might sink him.

Brooke White "You Must Love" from Evita
By far, Brooke's worst performance. Ugh, this makes me sad because she has been one of my favorites on the show, but she just showed that she was really out of her element and that the show is taking an emotional toll on her. Stopping and starting again is not going to do her any favors.

David Archuleta "Think of Me" from The Phantom of the Opera
It was fine, but I hear the chosen one missed a few lyrics. Seriously, the puppy needs help memorizing because he is not going to win if he keeps forgetting the lyrics. Not like the little girls will notice, but still. Make it appear like it matters. You would think StageDaddy would make sure he wouldn't mess up like that.

Carly Simthson Hennessy "Jesus Christ Superstar" from Jesus Christ Superstar
She was yelling the whole time. Plus, I just don't care for this song. She was in her zone, I'll give her that, but she didn't connect the song with the audience, in the way Syesha did. The best thing about her performance was the t-shirt (I want one!). P.S. She covered the tattoo again.

David Cook "Music of the Night" from The Phantom of the Opera
By far the best vocal performance of the night. He sold the whole thing, and it was amazing. Syesha may have been in her element in the Broadway world, but David was able to take Broadway into the pop world. Well done sir.

1. David Cook
2. Syesha Mercado (everyone else was not great)
3. Carly Smithson Hennessy
4. David Archuleta
5. Jason Castro
6. Brooke White

Bottom Three Predictions:
The Davids are safe this week (duh). I want to believe that Syesha saved her ass this week, although going first never helps. I'll say that Carly, Jason and Brooke all make the bottom. This time, Carly will be saved because one of the indie/singer-songwriters is going home. *sadface

Bottom Two:
Jason vs Brooke. My two favorites this year. Whoever leaves will make me sad. I know I said last week that you don't leave on your worst night, but I think Brooke's performance wasn't as harshly judged as Jason's, plus I think Castro is getting more text votes than White. Brooke hasn't had an amazing performance since, well, "Let It Be" and that was top 12 night. Jason's last great performance was two weeks ago with "Over the Rainbow." Plus, I'm powervoting for him tonight.

Goodbye to...
Brooke White.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

American Idol: Top 7

The fix is in ladies and gentlemen. After Michael Johns was "Daughtry'ed" last week, his fanbase will be backing David Cook. Plus there's more. Tonight's theme was MARIAH CAREY week. Which means that Randy is going to be effing insufferable with his whole "you know dawg, I laid that track down with Mariah." And good luck to the ladies, they're going to need it.

David Archuleta "When You Believe"
Well, this is the safest week to start The Chosen One at #1. He won't get voted off because of the Hannah Montana/High School Musical voting-block. It was a predictable choice and it was okay. It felt like he kept on hitting the glory notes and didn't do much else. Plus, the backup singers were just a tad bit overshadowing him.

Carly Smithson Hennessy "Without You"
Carly, Carly, Carly. First of all, the early spoilers leaked that she would be doing this because Simon told her to. That's some grade-A bullshit right there. I'm glad he didn't like it after telling her to do it. It was too shrill. I laughed when she kinda messed up the "I can't give anymore" line. We know Carly. Of course this was also the week she started to pander for votes, with both covering up her tattoo and being all sad that Michael Johns was gone. And the producers totally fed Mariah the line about "watching her and wanting to meet her." Like Mariah actually watches the show. She's got better things to do.

Syesha Mercado "Vanishing"
This performance made me want to find the original, because I bet Mariah sounds like buttah on this. Syesha was pretty good. It was not overtly baity in both performance and song, but she was placed in a very dangerous spot. This was probably her most controlled performance (give or take a few notes) but I have to wonder if Simon's right that it was maybe a bad thing to do a song that no one knew. But then again, she would have gotten flack for doing, say, "We Belong Together" or (heaven help us) "Visions of Love." You're screwed either way.

Brooke White "Hero"
This was one of Brooke's weaker performances. I kinda see what Simon meant when he said it was missing "the meat." It was certainly missing something. Perhaps the rushed feeling of the performance, or the fact that the camera wouldn't sit still on her face, I don't know. It was off. And I think she should have stuck with the guitar instead of the piano. P.S. She also looked REALLY PISSED at Simon when he gave his critique. Like "Imma cut you bitch" pissed.

KKKristy Lee Cook "Forever"
Ugh, this crafty, sneaky bitch. She took a song that no one knows and made it into a country song. This is the best she's been since "Faithfully" (and that was all the way back to the 80s theme in the semis). Paula's right. She is VERY smart about her song choices. One can only hope that next week's Andrew Lloyd Webber theme will sink her. Unless they broaden it to all Broadway showtunes and then lord help us when she picks something from Oklahoma.

David Cook "Always Be My Baby"
Remember how I said the fix is in? Second part: He gets probably the most recognizable song of the night and did a FANTASTIC job with it. On top of that, his whole family (including his older brother with cancer) was there, sitting behind the judges AND freakin' Teri Hatcher was sitting next to them. This just reaks of the producers wanting to push Cook into the finals and possibly overtaking The Chosen One. We'll see in the coming weeks if it works.

Jason Castro "I Don't Wanna Cry"
This was definitely a Jason Castro vibe, but I was not as impressed as Simon and Paula, but I wasn't trying to sink him like Randy (who clearly has turned on him, because the producers are over him). It was fine. Had he gone in the first half of the night instead of The Pimp Slot, I think he would have been kicked off. Thank God it was his turn for The Pimp Slot.

1. David Cook
2. Kristy Lee Cook (this is embarrassing that she's this high)
3. Syesha Mercado (ditto)
4. Jason Castro
5. Brooke White
6. David Archuleta
7. Carly Smithson Hennessy

Bottom Three Predictions:
The guys are all safe because, like they said at the top of the hour, they were not going to get compared to Mariah, but instead were going to be praised for taking a risk with whatever Mariah song they did. That leaves four ladies and only one of them was ballsy enough to completely change it up (because she's a crafty genius remember?) which means we're stuck with one more week of KKKristy. Carly and Brooke both felt VERY desperate in their performances. Like, they know the end is coming. And Syesha just got stuck in the middle with lazy comments. I think Brooke will be safe, because the producers will want to continue to put Carly in harm's way. Because this will be her third time and they really want to scare her fans. All both of them.

Bottom Two:
Carly vs Syesha. Carly leaving after that performance would be perfect, but as we all know in Idol-land, you never leave on your worst night. You always leave on the night you were either a) safe, b) lazy, c) boring or d) all of the above plus slapped into the middle of the show. Sorry Syesha. This time you actually didn't deserve it, but in the end, you were never here to win the game. You're here for the exposure, so you can become a real actress. Because that's what J.Hud wanted. *snarf

Goodbye to...
Syesha Mercado.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

American Idol: Top 8

Oh lawd. It's Idol Gives Back week on American Idol. Get the tissues, grab your credit card and start texting. Inspirational songs, which if last year was any indication, I probably won't remember most of it. Plus Kelly Clarkson isn't showing up tomorrow to upstage everyone.

Michael Johns "Dream On" by Aerosmith
Oh, this was a bit rough. I like the song, but I have to agree with the judges. Michael is no Aerosmith (and I'm not a huge fan of them) and I also agree that he's best when he is doing the soul thing rather than the rock thing. It was fine, but not impressive.

Syesha Mercado "I Believe" by Fantasia Burrito
Oy. My prediction was that Syesha was going to go all Whitney again and do "The Greatest Love of All" but instead she went for this Idol winning clunker. Look, I never was a big fan of Fantasia. I couldn't stand her theatrics when she was on the show, her showboating and the damn "yeah, yeah, yeahs" she always threw in there. That said, I put up with Fantasia for over 13 weeks and you Syesha Mercado are no Fantasia. Why even bother with this song? I think LaKisha did this last year too but LaKisha got lucky because Phil Stacey was still stinking up the joint.

Jason Castro "Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
Full disclosure time. When I was debating what Jason could possibly do tonight, it hit me. He needed to do the hawaiian version of "Over the Rainbow/What A Wonderful World" that Israel Kamakawiwo'ole covered in the early 90s. Holy hell, I knew it would be so damn good, that when I accidentally stumbled onto his sister's Myspace account, I HAD to message her to let her pass the information along. That was over a week ago and I got no response. I nearly flipped my shit when I heard that he would do this. Basically, I cried. That's never happened before on Idol. Daaaaaaaaaamn.

KKKristy Lee Cook "Anyway" by Martina McBride
I never heard this song before, but I actually thought it was pretty nice. But lordy, KKKristy's vocals are like hot buttered ass. I can't stand this bitch anymore. Unfortunately, no matter what she came out with, I think she would be safe, because American seems to like her when she does inspirational shit ("God Bless the U.S.A." anyone?). Bah.

David Cook "Innocent" by Our Lady Peace
Wow. This is the first time in a long time I was completely underwhelmed by David Cook. I think the week's theme was just not a good fit with his style, so it came out looking and sounding fake. He's going to take a hit on this one. I liked the "give back" on the hand though. Nice touch.

Carly Smithson Hennessy "The Show Must Go On" by Queen
Oh boy, you know it's not God when I think Nicole Kidman was better than you. But yeah, Kidman's version of this from Moulin Rouge! was better because it was slower and not all over the place. I agree with Simon, Lucky Charms was sounding very angry during this performance, which was not in keeping with the theme. Carly! IDOL GIVES BACK! We're giving the moneys to help the starving kiddies. We're not trying to make it worse. Plus she still looks like trash. Dammit girl, get a stylist!

David Archuleta "Angels" by Robbie Williams
Bullshit Archie. You've been practicing this shit since you were 12. I saw the clip on youtube bitch! Argh. This was one of his better performances though, I have to give him that. But yeah, when you have been practicing it for the past few years (like he did with "Imagine") it's no surprise it would be good. Better than Robbie Williams' original? Hell no. Better than Jessica Simpson's god-awful cover? Hells to the yes.

Brooke White "You've Got A Friend" by Carole King
This was a very safe choice for Brooke, but it was a very classy performance. No tricks, no sitting on the stage barefoot, nothing. Very nice Brooke. Very nice. Not her best, but she is still one of the better female singers left. Hell, she's one of the best, period.

1. Jason Castro (by an effing country mile)
2. David Archuleta (this is the highest I've ever ranked him)
3. Brooke White (and after her, a huge drop)
4. Michael Johns
5. David Cook
6. Carly Smithson Hennessy
7. Syesha Mercado
8. KKKristy Lee Cook

Bottom Three Predictions:
This seems fairly easy. Syesha for being lazy and not having a GREAT song choice. Carly, because I have to think she has less fans that the country nit-wit. And for the surprise slot, I'll say one of the boys makes his first trip to the bottom 3. Is it too early for David Cook to come down here? Michael Johns is overdue a kick in the pants to make him wake up and stop being so obvious. I'll say, Syesha, Carly and Michael. But Michael will be safe.

Bottom Two:
Syesha vs Carly. Carly will be shaking in her boots. She will cry tears that will seem everlasting. And then, she'll be safe, because 19E is not done with her yet. They need to save her until she gets Tamyra'ed (™) and it's still too early. So long Syesha. I'm sure you're going to be pissed because next week Mariah is mentoring and you know for damn sure, Syesha was already having visions of, well, "Visions of Love" in her head.

Goodbye to...
Syesha Mercado.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

American Idol: Top 9

Tonight's American Idol was much better than last week. This is what happens when the theme is Dolly Parton songs. All songs originally performed by Dolly Parton...and one INFAMOUS cover.

Brooke White "Jolene"
In recent seasons, there are many "money" performances I wish and hope for. Sometimes they come true, like last year during British Invasion week. I said Blake Lewis would be amazing if he covered The Zombies' "Time of the Season." And boy did he. Sometimes they don't come true like in season four, when I desperately wanted Jessica Sierra to do The Pretender's "Brass in Pocket" (a performance I would gladly hand over money for, to this day). One of my wishes this year was for Brooke to get "Jolene" on Dolly Parton night. And she delivered. *woot

David Cook "Little Sparrow"
I have vaguely remember hearing this one before. Another solid outing from the better of the two Davids. And nice haircut. Even Paula wants to do him now. It felt very short though.

Ramiele Malubay "Do I Ever Cross Your Mind"
This was a boring performance. Ramiele is just out of her league here. To quote dear Rachel, "any other season, she wouldn't stick out because everyone else would be worse." But in a season so heavily ladened with former folks who had record deals and whatnot, Ramiele is the ONLY contestant left who has none of that baggage/experience. And it's starting to show.

Jason Castro "Travelin' Thru"
Yay! I love "Travelin' Thru" and Jason did the song justice. He felt very comfortable singing it and I thought it was adorable that Dolly started to play with his dreads in the video. Every time I hear this song, I always think of Felicity Huffman getting her groove on at the Oscars, jamming along with Dolly's stripped down performance (and her sweet song getting robbed by some pimps, but that's another story). Go Jason!!

Carly Smithson Hennessy "Here You Come Again"
Another atypical performance from Carly. Yawn. I'm over it. I can't wait until "The SHOCK Boot" in the next few weeks and everyone and their mother will squeal that she got "Tamyra'ed"(™). And yes, you better believe I laughed when Simon called her out on her fug clothes. About friggin' time. And she looked pissed when he said that.

David Archuleta "Smokey Mountain Memories"
Ah, The Chosen One (™). Like Carly, same ole, same ole. It is definitely one of his better performance but I think some of the others were better. Plus I don't know the song all that well. Next!

KKKristy Lee Cook "Coat of Many Colors"
Congratulations Shania Twain. You are no longer the worst artist to cover this song. KKKristy did her best but she once again proves she's not made out for this contest. Love the songs, love the dress and the jewelry, but everything else, meh. And of course her ass was sitting down barefoot. Damn you Fantasia for making us suffer the same shtick every season now.

Syesha Mercado "I Will Always Love You"
Here's the problem. Dolly's version is great. Whitney's version is great. But creating a hybrid of the two? Not great. It sounded very disjointed and it made Syesha come out looking pretty weak. Her voice was completely made for singing it like Dolly, but she just HAD to sing it like Whitney. Look, when it comes right down to it, every black diva on this show has been BEGGING for this song. Tamyra wanted it, Fantasia and J.Hud must have had catfights over it, Vonzell sure as hell wanted it and you better believe lazy LaKisha would have cut a bitch for it too. But Dolly kept resisting giving in. And it felt very anti-climactic. Syesha is the one that's going to go down in history as the first Idol contestant to get to sing IWALY? Really? Also, I love that Dolly called her songs her children, so it's hard to let them go. Except this one. She let someone else adopt that sucker and she is still getting child support checks.

Michael Johns "It's All Wrong, But It's All Right"
Hawt. That was his best performance and the best one of the night. *fans self

1. Michael Johns
2. Jason Castro
3. Brooke White
4. David Cook
5. Syesha Mercado
6. David Archuleta
7. Carly Smithson Hennessy
8. KKKristy Lee Cook
9. Ramiele Malubay

Bottom Three Predictions:
Ramiele is finally going to see the bottom three. Seriously, if she avoids it this week, that bitch is going to the final five. Let's say KKKristy joins her, since she sucks too. Another shocker this week? Yes, and I'm going to say it's Brooke who is brought down a few pegs by 19E. Of course, Brooke will be safe, because that will leave us with...

Bottom Two:
Ramiele vs KKKristy. It would be hilarious to see KKKristy to leave on what should have been her best night, but she'll get hers soon. Shame about Ramiele. The money performance I was waiting for her was Leona Lewis' "Bleeding Love" for that rumored iTunes Top 100 Songs Week.

Goodbye to...
Ramiele Malubay.

P.S. If the group number on the results show is fucking "Islands in the Stream" somebody owes Rachel a cookie. And if it's "9 to 5" somebody owes me a cookie.