American Idol: Top 7

The fix is in ladies and gentlemen. After Michael Johns was "Daughtry'ed" last week, his fanbase will be backing David Cook. Plus there's more. Tonight's theme was MARIAH CAREY week. Which means that Randy is going to be effing insufferable with his whole "you know dawg, I laid that track down with Mariah." And good luck to the ladies, they're going to need it.

David Archuleta "When You Believe"
Well, this is the safest week to start The Chosen One at #1. He won't get voted off because of the Hannah Montana/High School Musical voting-block. It was a predictable choice and it was okay. It felt like he kept on hitting the glory notes and didn't do much else. Plus, the backup singers were just a tad bit overshadowing him.


Carly Smithson Hennessy "Without You"
Carly, Carly, Carly. First of all, the early spoilers leaked that she would be doing this because Simon told her to. That's some grade-A bullshit right there. I'm glad he didn't like it after telling her to do it. It was too shrill. I laughed when she kinda messed up the "I can't give anymore" line. We know Carly. Of course this was also the week she started to pander for votes, with both covering up her tattoo and being all sad that Michael Johns was gone. And the producers totally fed Mariah the line about "watching her and wanting to meet her." Like Mariah actually watches the show. She's got better things to do.


Syesha Mercado "Vanishing"
This performance made me want to find the original, because I bet Mariah sounds like buttah on this. Syesha was pretty good. It was not overtly baity in both performance and song, but she was placed in a very dangerous spot. This was probably her most controlled performance (give or take a few notes) but I have to wonder if Simon's right that it was maybe a bad thing to do a song that no one knew. But then again, she would have gotten flack for doing, say, "We Belong Together" or (heaven help us) "Visions of Love." You're screwed either way.


Brooke White "Hero"
This was one of Brooke's weaker performances. I kinda see what Simon meant when he said it was missing "the meat." It was certainly missing something. Perhaps the rushed feeling of the performance, or the fact that the camera wouldn't sit still on her face, I don't know. It was off. And I think she should have stuck with the guitar instead of the piano. P.S. She also looked REALLY PISSED at Simon when he gave his critique. Like "Imma cut you bitch" pissed.


KKKristy Lee Cook "Forever"
Ugh, this crafty, sneaky bitch. She took a song that no one knows and made it into a country song. This is the best she's been since "Faithfully" (and that was all the way back to the 80s theme in the semis). Paula's right. She is VERY smart about her song choices. One can only hope that next week's Andrew Lloyd Webber theme will sink her. Unless they broaden it to all Broadway showtunes and then lord help us when she picks something from Oklahoma.


David Cook "Always Be My Baby"
Remember how I said the fix is in? Second part: He gets probably the most recognizable song of the night and did a FANTASTIC job with it. On top of that, his whole family (including his older brother with cancer) was there, sitting behind the judges AND freakin' Teri Hatcher was sitting next to them. This just reaks of the producers wanting to push Cook into the finals and possibly overtaking The Chosen One. We'll see in the coming weeks if it works.


Jason Castro "I Don't Wanna Cry"
This was definitely a Jason Castro vibe, but I was not as impressed as Simon and Paula, but I wasn't trying to sink him like Randy (who clearly has turned on him, because the producers are over him). It was fine. Had he gone in the first half of the night instead of The Pimp Slot, I think he would have been kicked off. Thank God it was his turn for The Pimp Slot.


Rankings:
1. David Cook
2. Kristy Lee Cook (this is embarrassing that she's this high)
3. Syesha Mercado (ditto)
4. Jason Castro
5. Brooke White
6. David Archuleta
7. Carly Smithson Hennessy


Bottom Three Predictions:
The guys are all safe because, like they said at the top of the hour, they were not going to get compared to Mariah, but instead were going to be praised for taking a risk with whatever Mariah song they did. That leaves four ladies and only one of them was ballsy enough to completely change it up (because she's a crafty genius remember?) which means we're stuck with one more week of KKKristy. Carly and Brooke both felt VERY desperate in their performances. Like, they know the end is coming. And Syesha just got stuck in the middle with lazy comments. I think Brooke will be safe, because the producers will want to continue to put Carly in harm's way. Because this will be her third time and they really want to scare her fans. All both of them.


Bottom Two:
Carly vs Syesha. Carly leaving after that performance would be perfect, but as we all know in Idol-land, you never leave on your worst night. You always leave on the night you were either a) safe, b) lazy, c) boring or d) all of the above plus slapped into the middle of the show. Sorry Syesha. This time you actually didn't deserve it, but in the end, you were never here to win the game. You're here for the exposure, so you can become a real actress. Because that's what J.Hud wanted. *snarf


Goodbye to...
Syesha Mercado.