American Idol: Top 9

Tonight's American Idol was much better than last week. This is what happens when the theme is Dolly Parton songs. All songs originally performed by Dolly Parton...and one INFAMOUS cover.

Brooke White "Jolene"
In recent seasons, there are many "money" performances I wish and hope for. Sometimes they come true, like last year during British Invasion week. I said Blake Lewis would be amazing if he covered The Zombies' "Time of the Season." And boy did he. Sometimes they don't come true like in season four, when I desperately wanted Jessica Sierra to do The Pretender's "Brass in Pocket" (a performance I would gladly hand over money for, to this day). One of my wishes this year was for Brooke to get "Jolene" on Dolly Parton night. And she delivered. *woot


David Cook "Little Sparrow"
I have vaguely remember hearing this one before. Another solid outing from the better of the two Davids. And nice haircut. Even Paula wants to do him now. It felt very short though.


Ramiele Malubay "Do I Ever Cross Your Mind"
This was a boring performance. Ramiele is just out of her league here. To quote dear Rachel, "any other season, she wouldn't stick out because everyone else would be worse." But in a season so heavily ladened with former folks who had record deals and whatnot, Ramiele is the ONLY contestant left who has none of that baggage/experience. And it's starting to show.


Jason Castro "Travelin' Thru"
Yay! I love "Travelin' Thru" and Jason did the song justice. He felt very comfortable singing it and I thought it was adorable that Dolly started to play with his dreads in the video. Every time I hear this song, I always think of Felicity Huffman getting her groove on at the Oscars, jamming along with Dolly's stripped down performance (and her sweet song getting robbed by some pimps, but that's another story). Go Jason!!


Carly Smithson Hennessy "Here You Come Again"
Another atypical performance from Carly. Yawn. I'm over it. I can't wait until "The SHOCK Boot" in the next few weeks and everyone and their mother will squeal that she got "Tamyra'ed"(™). And yes, you better believe I laughed when Simon called her out on her fug clothes. About friggin' time. And she looked pissed when he said that.


David Archuleta "Smokey Mountain Memories"
Ah, The Chosen One (™). Like Carly, same ole, same ole. It is definitely one of his better performance but I think some of the others were better. Plus I don't know the song all that well. Next!


KKKristy Lee Cook "Coat of Many Colors"
Congratulations Shania Twain. You are no longer the worst artist to cover this song. KKKristy did her best but she once again proves she's not made out for this contest. Love the songs, love the dress and the jewelry, but everything else, meh. And of course her ass was sitting down barefoot. Damn you Fantasia for making us suffer the same shtick every season now.


Syesha Mercado "I Will Always Love You"
Here's the problem. Dolly's version is great. Whitney's version is great. But creating a hybrid of the two? Not great. It sounded very disjointed and it made Syesha come out looking pretty weak. Her voice was completely made for singing it like Dolly, but she just HAD to sing it like Whitney. Look, when it comes right down to it, every black diva on this show has been BEGGING for this song. Tamyra wanted it, Fantasia and J.Hud must have had catfights over it, Vonzell sure as hell wanted it and you better believe lazy LaKisha would have cut a bitch for it too. But Dolly kept resisting giving in. And it felt very anti-climactic. Syesha is the one that's going to go down in history as the first Idol contestant to get to sing IWALY? Really? Also, I love that Dolly called her songs her children, so it's hard to let them go. Except this one. She let someone else adopt that sucker and she is still getting child support checks.


Michael Johns "It's All Wrong, But It's All Right"
Hawt. That was his best performance and the best one of the night. *fans self


Rankings:
1. Michael Johns
2. Jason Castro
3. Brooke White
4. David Cook
5. Syesha Mercado
6. David Archuleta
7. Carly Smithson Hennessy
8. KKKristy Lee Cook
9. Ramiele Malubay


Bottom Three Predictions:
Ramiele is finally going to see the bottom three. Seriously, if she avoids it this week, that bitch is going to the final five. Let's say KKKristy joins her, since she sucks too. Another shocker this week? Yes, and I'm going to say it's Brooke who is brought down a few pegs by 19E. Of course, Brooke will be safe, because that will leave us with...


Bottom Two:
Ramiele vs KKKristy. It would be hilarious to see KKKristy to leave on what should have been her best night, but she'll get hers soon. Shame about Ramiele. The money performance I was waiting for her was Leona Lewis' "Bleeding Love" for that rumored iTunes Top 100 Songs Week.


Goodbye to...
Ramiele Malubay.


P.S. If the group number on the results show is fucking "Islands in the Stream" somebody owes Rachel a cookie. And if it's "9 to 5" somebody owes me a cookie.