American Idol: Top 8

Oh lawd. It's Idol Gives Back week on American Idol. Get the tissues, grab your credit card and start texting. Inspirational songs, which if last year was any indication, I probably won't remember most of it. Plus Kelly Clarkson isn't showing up tomorrow to upstage everyone.

Michael Johns "Dream On" by Aerosmith
Oh, this was a bit rough. I like the song, but I have to agree with the judges. Michael is no Aerosmith (and I'm not a huge fan of them) and I also agree that he's best when he is doing the soul thing rather than the rock thing. It was fine, but not impressive.


Syesha Mercado "I Believe" by Fantasia Burrito
Oy. My prediction was that Syesha was going to go all Whitney again and do "The Greatest Love of All" but instead she went for this Idol winning clunker. Look, I never was a big fan of Fantasia. I couldn't stand her theatrics when she was on the show, her showboating and the damn "yeah, yeah, yeahs" she always threw in there. That said, I put up with Fantasia for over 13 weeks and you Syesha Mercado are no Fantasia. Why even bother with this song? I think LaKisha did this last year too but LaKisha got lucky because Phil Stacey was still stinking up the joint.


Jason Castro "Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
Full disclosure time. When I was debating what Jason could possibly do tonight, it hit me. He needed to do the hawaiian version of "Over the Rainbow/What A Wonderful World" that Israel Kamakawiwo'ole covered in the early 90s. Holy hell, I knew it would be so damn good, that when I accidentally stumbled onto his sister's Myspace account, I HAD to message her to let her pass the information along. That was over a week ago and I got no response. I nearly flipped my shit when I heard that he would do this. Basically, I cried. That's never happened before on Idol. Daaaaaaaaaamn.


KKKristy Lee Cook "Anyway" by Martina McBride
I never heard this song before, but I actually thought it was pretty nice. But lordy, KKKristy's vocals are like hot buttered ass. I can't stand this bitch anymore. Unfortunately, no matter what she came out with, I think she would be safe, because American seems to like her when she does inspirational shit ("God Bless the U.S.A." anyone?). Bah.


David Cook "Innocent" by Our Lady Peace
Wow. This is the first time in a long time I was completely underwhelmed by David Cook. I think the week's theme was just not a good fit with his style, so it came out looking and sounding fake. He's going to take a hit on this one. I liked the "give back" on the hand though. Nice touch.


Carly Smithson Hennessy "The Show Must Go On" by Queen
Oh boy, you know it's not God when I think Nicole Kidman was better than you. But yeah, Kidman's version of this from Moulin Rouge! was better because it was slower and not all over the place. I agree with Simon, Lucky Charms was sounding very angry during this performance, which was not in keeping with the theme. Carly! IDOL GIVES BACK! We're giving the moneys to help the starving kiddies. We're not trying to make it worse. Plus she still looks like trash. Dammit girl, get a stylist!


David Archuleta "Angels" by Robbie Williams
Bullshit Archie. You've been practicing this shit since you were 12. I saw the clip on youtube bitch! Argh. This was one of his better performances though, I have to give him that. But yeah, when you have been practicing it for the past few years (like he did with "Imagine") it's no surprise it would be good. Better than Robbie Williams' original? Hell no. Better than Jessica Simpson's god-awful cover? Hells to the yes.


Brooke White "You've Got A Friend" by Carole King
This was a very safe choice for Brooke, but it was a very classy performance. No tricks, no sitting on the stage barefoot, nothing. Very nice Brooke. Very nice. Not her best, but she is still one of the better female singers left. Hell, she's one of the best, period.


Rankings:
1. Jason Castro (by an effing country mile)
2. David Archuleta (this is the highest I've ever ranked him)
3. Brooke White (and after her, a huge drop)
4. Michael Johns
5. David Cook
6. Carly Smithson Hennessy
7. Syesha Mercado
8. KKKristy Lee Cook


Bottom Three Predictions:
This seems fairly easy. Syesha for being lazy and not having a GREAT song choice. Carly, because I have to think she has less fans that the country nit-wit. And for the surprise slot, I'll say one of the boys makes his first trip to the bottom 3. Is it too early for David Cook to come down here? Michael Johns is overdue a kick in the pants to make him wake up and stop being so obvious. I'll say, Syesha, Carly and Michael. But Michael will be safe.


Bottom Two:
Syesha vs Carly. Carly will be shaking in her boots. She will cry tears that will seem everlasting. And then, she'll be safe, because 19E is not done with her yet. They need to save her until she gets Tamyra'ed (™) and it's still too early. So long Syesha. I'm sure you're going to be pissed because next week Mariah is mentoring and you know for damn sure, Syesha was already having visions of, well, "Visions of Love" in her head.


Goodbye to...
Syesha Mercado.